Jn 11:14-16 So then he told them plainly, "Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him." Then Thomas (called Didymus) said to the rest of the disciples, "Let us also go, that we may die with him."

Have you ever thought how you'd like to be remembered? When you pass on to glory, what will people remember of you? Thomas seems to come over as a fatalist and a realist in the Gospels, neither of which are associated with faith. Everyone has heard of ‘doubting Thomas'!

He appears in the list of the apostles: “These are the names of the twelve apostles: first, Simon (who is called Peter) and his brother Andrew; James son of Zebedee, and his brother John; Philip and Bartholomew; Thomas and Matthew the tax collector; James son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus; Simon the Zealot and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed him,” (Mt 10:2-4) but beyond that, in the Synoptic Gospels at least, we aren't told anything more about him; he's just a name in a list. We aren't even told how we came to be a follower of Jesus!

It is left to John to pick up three incidents that involved Thomas. The first is in our verses at the top today. Jesus is about to go to raise Lazarus (although the disciples do not know that yet) who has just died. Thomas is identified as a twin, for that is what ‘Didymus' means. We know nothing of his twin. Thomas's words here are strange. Jesus has just said, “But let us go to him”, the ‘him' being Lazarus. Thomas echoes Jesus with, “Let us also go…” That would seem at first sight as if the ‘also' suggest that Jesus was going to set out on his own and so Thomas is suggesting they join him, but he has just called them all to come with him, so that can't be its meaning. It would seem, therefore, that his meaning is more, “As well as just going with the Master, let's go so that we can die with him as well.” If that is so, and it is more likely than the alternatives, then he realises that going south to a place near Jerusalem puts them in danger. Jesus had warned previously that he was going to die in Jerusalem , even though the disciples didn't seem to take that in. Perhaps Thomas did! In a somewhat fatalistic attitude, he seems to say. “Well, let's go with Master and take whatever is coming to him.” It does seem to come more with fatalism rather than faith. There is a sense whereby his words were going to be very prophetic for, yes, Jesus was going to die fairly soon after the raising of Lazarus and, yes, in one sense, they too are going to die to self as they go through the awful trauma ahead of them.

The second incident is even more brief and occurs at the Last Supper: “Thomas said to him, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?” (Jn 14:5) Jesus has just said, “You know the way to the place where I am going,” (14:4) and realistic Thomas thinks, “But you haven't told us where you are going,” and so blurts it out. We may think that Jesus words that go just before this, about his ‘father's house' and going to prepare a place for them, are quite clear, but that is only with hindsight. For Thomas, thinking in down to earth, black and white terms, he's not yet ready to cope with talk about heaven; he's thinking about what is happening then and now. He's struggling and isn't afraid to show it. He is quite real in his thinking.

The third and main incident occurs after Jesus' resurrection: “Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!" But he said to them, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it." A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe." Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!” (Jn 20:24-28) Here we have doubting Thomas. This is the culmination of his down to earth, almost materialistic attitude. Jesus has died and he knows it – and that's all he knows! Dead men don't rise; they stay dead, so when the others say that have seen the risen Lord, that is one step too many for Thomas. His talk about physically touching Jesus suggests that he thinks that they are all hallucinating or seeing a ghost, and he is not into ghosts. He wants the real thing or nothing! So he gets the real thing, for a week later Jesus appears to them again and directly confronts Thomas's unbelief with hard evidence – here I am Thomas; now you can touch me! Now you can believe.

I don't actually have a problem with Thomas's doubts. They are very real and probably most of us would have responded in the same way. I've heard those who have been to a healing crusade of over several days say that they struggled to bring their mind in line with the miracles that their eyes were seeing. Sometimes just hearing it from other people hardly seems enough. For many of us it is, but for many of us we need something more – and Jesus gives Thomas that ‘something more'. But note, give him that ‘something more' and he is wholehearted in his commitment.

The last we see of Thomas is that he appears with the rest in the upper room after Jesus' ascension (Acts 1:13 ). He is still there, a convinced follower. He's a doubter but still hung around and was therefore in the right place to have his doubts resolved. There are people with doubts who clear off the Christian scene and remain in disillusionment for the rest of their lives. That is not Thomas. He stayed with the other disciples and so have his doubts dealt with by Jesus. You are a Christian with doubts? Hang on in there with the Lord, pray and watch and listen. Your doubts will be resolved and that will enable to to go on even more secure in him.